Breaking News: Ford and Tesla Merger, Mercury Revival

What? Were you expecting a witty satirical article?

I spent longer than I should have making this. It was originally going to be a tasteless grill swap but it turned into a combination of the the lowest tech car of its time and the most high tech car of its time that no doubt makes each car worse. Continue reading

I Only Want To See You In The Purple Paint (Craigslist)

Imagine Prince being alive, just as garish, less of a perfectionist, and had never made it.  He would probably drive this ‘Kandy drank purple’ Lincoln Mark Three Five.

“1996 Lincoln Mark lllV Kandy drank purple white insides 6pack woofers pioneer touch screen radio/with remote trunk did pumps,lid,neon lights chrome grill needs motor work not sure what’s wrong with the motor asking $2200” Continue reading

2007 Lifted “Off-Road” Crown Victoria Pt.3 Piecing It Together

Installation: My next step was to actually put the thing together, this meant gathering parts and information from around the internet.  Curiously enough there is a small circle of people with lifted Crown Victorias (off road, not big rims) around the internet, when all else failed they were quick to respond.

After about a year I had slowly purchased just about everything I needed to get the car lifted, and a handful of parts that at 100,000 miles probably needed replacing anyway. Continue reading

Someone Needs To Put This Abomination Out Of Its Misery (2006 Packard/Lincoln Town Car)

With a face that any mother would abort this is the 2006 Lincoln/Packard Town Car..  On the plus side, there is still a nice Town Car under there somewhere.

“A beautifully customized Packard. Ready to show and drive. Car runs and drives like new. Fully loaded 2006 Lincoln Town car with less than 50K converted to a Packard. Has authentic Packard wheels, interior and exterior trim. Excellent workmanship was used throughout the customization. True whitewall Packard tires really enhance this gorgeous car.  Car available for inspection and sale at a location in Okemos, Michigan.  The customization was done by Packard Grille out of Lima, Ohio” Continue reading

2007 Lifted “Off-Road” Crown Victoria Pt.2 Buying A Government Car

Less than two weeks after selling the ‘copped out’ 2003 P71 I found myself behind the wheel of a nice 2007 P71.  This time I took a different approach, instead of buying the car through Craigslist or a private party I would buy it directly from the government via an online auction.  In the past I had only purchased bicycles and video game hardware this way, pretty low risk stuff. An entire car is a pretty big step up but I figured I would give it shot. Continue reading

2007 Lifted “Off-Road” Crown Victoria Pt.1 Purchasing

The goal here is to purchase a used 2003+ P71 Crown Victoria for the sole purpose of modifying to drive around on desert trails and forest roads.  Why a Crown Victoria?  They are cheap, body on frame, V8, rear wheel drive, super reliable, plus with the additional coolers and suspension components for police use it’ll hold up.  I have no interest in actual ‘wheeling’ or owning a truck so it’s perfect, plus an off-road car is more visually interesting (to me).

My plan is to install a set of 3-inch lift cups/spacers intended for donks on 28’s and some all-terrain 31’s for the stock 16 inch police steel wheels. Continue reading

Barrett-Jackson 2017: Is It Hard To Tell Where Our Loyalties Lie? (1986 Pontiac Grand Prix 2+2)

1986-Pontiac-Grand-Prix-2-plus-2 (9)Classic cars are easily the closest thing we’ll ever have to a time machine. Step inside of any restored (or simply not beat to shit) car of yesteryear and you’re instantly transported to another time.. completely surrounded by the smells, sounds, and styles. Continue reading

Who Has Time To Wait For A New Ford Ranger? (1998 Saturn SW2 Pickup Truck)

1998 Saturn SW2 Wagon El Camino Front

Somehow this Saturn truck (by way of SW2 wagon) didn’t make an appearance at any of the big auctions out in Scottsdale this week..

Let’s get into some of the details here. The bedsides seem to be topped off with rain gutters screwed onto planks of wood and the double din stereo appears to have been installed with a similar level of precision and care. The whole thing is probably twice the rattle trap it was when stock, this is where the straight pipes come in to drone drown out the sound. Continue reading