Jaded with everything automotive

When I first started this outfit, I believed that it was the ultimate opportunity to showcase my automotive expression. I was severely wrong, and here’s a few things I’ve learned:

1. The vast majority of people have terribly predictable taste in cars. I can’t overstate this enough. Thanks to going to things like SEMA, Barrett-Jackson and all of our local car shows I can tell you that I could happily go the rest of my life without ever having to see a first generation Camaro ever again. I’m also sick and tired of looking under the hood of a gorgeous car and seeing an “LS motor” (otherwise known as a generation III small block chevy). Why is this so utterly impressive to the average “car guy”? Let me ask you something, when you look under the hood of this car:

2004_pontiac_gto_coupe_base_fqh_evox_1_500or this car:

1998_chevrolet_camaro_coupe_z28_fq_oem_4_500or this truck:

2001_chevrolet_silverado-1500_extended-cab-pickup_ls_fq_oem_1_500Are you all that impressed? Where do you think these hot rod motors come from? Yes, compared to the first and second generation small block Chevy, they’re an engineering marvel, but do they really belong in place of a 455 super duty, a 401 nailhead or even a 348 W Big Block? Fuck no.

2. I don’t like taking pictures of things while I work on them. There is nothing less motivation-killing than having to stop to take pictures on what you’re working on so that your narrative later makes sense. When I get started working on something, I can guarantee you that after about 30 minutes, I could give two shits about taking pictures of what I’m doing, move for move. I’ll never understand how the school of forum-fish seem to get off on these pictorial walk-through articles about doing the most basic of tasks. I guess it takes all kinds.

3. I’m not a person of flamboyant or common tastes. I like subtle and strange instead of the same cookie-cutter car that proliferates car show floors. Custom paint work, large, shiny aftermarket wheels, ostentatious body work and reoccurring automotive trends tend to turn me away. Unfortunately, that is what the automotive public tends to go for. My likes are the vast minority. I would be more excited to see a first generation Taurus SHO in less-than-perfect condition than I would to be some late sixties “pro-touring” nightmare.

4. I care very little for “infotainment”-era cars. New cars with infotainment systems, high belt lines, low visibility, and/or retro-styling. The best is when one of this morons shows up at a car show with their Batman airbrush job or their strangely misplaced night rider scanner light, or their Transformers badges. Get that shit out of here. You don’t have a hotrod, you have a fast and ugly car payment. No measure of forced induction, throwback styling or nameplate raping is going to make me care.

5. There is nothing of any value at all going on in the import car scene. When the import car scene became something I knew about, it was about 2001, in the wake of The Fast and The Furious. Although there’s 70’s, 80’s and 90’s imports that I like (despite the aesthetic ignorance of their owners) I felt like they relied a lot more on show than go. Now looking back, I could only hope that import owners could go back to a time when their cars were treated like an actual race car (despite the fact that it couldn’t be further from that) instead of today’s import owner that seems to be so focused on having on the cleanest, nicest ride. Or those fucking weirdos with the long tailpipes… don’t even get me started.

I feel like I could go on forever, or I could just quit all together. At this point, I feel like I’d rather stay somewhere in between. Uninterested, but somewhat plugged in. Maybe one day, what I’m doing will jive with what a couple of you people out there.