Fresh Shark Jetta, Bro

What words would you use to describe a shark?

To me, a shark is a large, powerful, menacing, smooth, streamlined, ¬†graceful, terrifyingly aggressive creature who’s sole purpose in life is to indiscriminately fuck shit up and strike fear into the heart of any poor bastard who happens to get in his way. And seriously, if I had to pick a car that least demonstrated every single one of those qualities, the 3rd Generation Jetta would probably be it.

¬†But then again, it’s not like the car is actually trying to be a shark, I suppose. Sharks don’t exactly swim around in the ocean with airbrushed graphics of other sharks and blood and weird designs all over their bodies. That would be really weird. I guess it would be best to think of this car as some sort of rolling, over the top shark tribute. But why on Earth would somebody do something like this?

You know what? Forget it. I really don’t think I even want to know.

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This entry was posted in Tasteless Cars and tagged , , , , by Mike Ross. Bookmark the permalink.

About Mike Ross

I love anything you can drive. But I love it even more if it has a small block Chevy or Ford motor, a turbo, four wheel drive, is a hatchback, or was made in the 80s. My ideal car would be a combination of all of these things, and I'm working on building a time machine so I can go back to the 80's and convince Chevy and Ford to collaborate on a twin-engine, single turbo 4x4 XR4Ti/Fox Mustang/Third Gen F-body and hide one in a mineshaft for me to recover in brand new condition. Look for a blog post about it just as soon as it happens. Or maybe it already did, and I've already posted about it in the future and the internet just needs to catch up with it. Okay, my head hurts, never mind.

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