One things for sure. This car has definitely “got the straight edge”. Interpret that however you like.
I was trying to take a picture on my phone of an Accord with a single Flowmaster right under the bumper with a 4th gen z28 square tip when something white and wearing a huge wing caught my eye instead. It turned into a 711 so I followed it in there and waited for the guy to go inside. Then I snapped a couple pictures real quick.
It’s actually pretty terrifying trying to take a picture of someones car to make fun of it when you’ve seen the owner and he’s seen you. Anyways… I was really excited just to get a picture of a Focus with such a big wing. Then I realized I was in the presence of a mighty Ford Focus Cobra!
“Ok… what’s the plan?”
“Don’t you remember? He said it needs to be simultaneously the ugliest and most pointless car anyone’s ever seen!”
“You mean like a Smart Car?”
“Ok, maybe not quite so ugly or pointless. Second most ugly and pointless then.”
“This is tough”
“Yeah, screw this. I can’t think of anything. Why don’t we just start working on another customer’s car and come back to this later?”
“That’s a good idea, we really need to finish up on Richard’s car, the combination second gen Camaro/dune buggy. It was supposed to be done last week.”
“Cool. I’ll try and think of something while I finish painting the drivers side rear brake drum yellow and cutting long slits into the hood.”
So, I was leaving Gamestop (which is a complete joke, by the way) and I noticed this car. At first it just looked like your average mid-life Chrysler, but then I noticed the home made sticker on the back:
“In Leykis we Trust”
And since I can’t fucking stand Tom Leykis (actually, I shouldn’t say that. Saying I can’t stand him almost makes him seem like he could be something relevant.)
Since nobody gives a fuck about Tom Leykis anymore, and hes an old heartbroken fatass, I’d probably recommend peeling off the stickers. I mean, seriously, you wonder why girls dont like you when you drive a maroon Sebring with license plate frame of tiny chrome skulls with a tribal design on the top and your hubcaps removed? Whoever you are, just know this:
I hope someone splashes piss right in your stupid fucking face.