Le Turd (Citroen 2CV)

I saw this thing pulling into Safeway and I knew I had to get out of the car and get some pictures. In case you don’t know, it’s a Citroen 2CV, and it’s the first one I’ve actually seen in person.

They were built from 1948 to 1990, which would be pretty impressive if VW’s Beetle didn’t shit all over it in terms of longevity. And everything else too, really.

And you thought your four lug 5.0 was scary? Imagine driving this corrugated tin shed with wheelbarrow tires on the freeway.

This particular model is the highest performing version, called the “2CV6”. No, it doesn’t have a v6. It doesn’t even have a four cylinder. In fact, a Geo Metro three-cylinder dwarfs this thing. The motor is a 600cc flat two. As in, two cylinders. Yeah.

The Safeway parking lot at 35th and Bell has a pretty steep incline to get in, I’m actually a little bit surprised this miserable little frogmobile was able to pull itself up it.

There really isn’t a flattering angle to be had on this poor unfortunate-looking motherfucker.

This is usually the part where I list some redeeming qualities or try and M. Knight Shyamalan you. JOKES ON YOU I ACTUALLY LIKE IT LOL.

The truth is, I really don’t like it very much. It’s ugly. It’s slow. It’s ugly. I mean, I can appreciate the amount of effort (and awareness) someone would have to display in order to maintain/drive this car in traffic. And it’s cool that someone is keeping an old car alive. But man, there have got to be better ways to waste money than on cars that are uglier and less practical than Vespas. Plus it’s just so ugly!


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About Mike Ross

I love anything you can drive. But I love it even more if it has a small block Chevy or Ford motor, a turbo, four wheel drive, is a hatchback, or was made in the 80s. My ideal car would be a combination of all of these things, and I'm working on building a time machine so I can go back to the 80's and convince Chevy and Ford to collaborate on a twin-engine, single turbo 4x4 XR4Ti/Fox Mustang/Third Gen F-body and hide one in a mineshaft for me to recover in brand new condition. Look for a blog post about it just as soon as it happens. Or maybe it already did, and I've already posted about it in the future and the internet just needs to catch up with it. Okay, my head hurts, never mind.