20,000 Leagues (Dodge Ram)

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I remember hearing about some guys in LA or some other city with really congested roads who put on puppet shows in the bed of their truck for people behind them to watch while everyone is stuck in traffic. This guy puts them to shame- he’s basically driving around showing everyone all the best parts from every IMAX movie for free.

I have to admit, that is some really high quality airbrush work. Bonus points because it’s not a mural of his truck on his truck (give yourself a pat on the back, dawg).

It’s still ridicufuckinglous though.

Explorer Sport Trac: Adrenaline

I’ve never heard of these things before. Honestly, I didn’t even know there was a second generation of the Explorer Sport Trac. Apparently this started out as a stereo package for the Sport Trac and morphed into this “appearance-package” atrocity starting in 2008. Based off what was meant to be an SVT-lead performance truck, that idea was apparently scrapped, but kept the 2005 GT-R concept grille treatment. Something nowadays many other manufacturers can’t seem to avoid stealing as well (I’m looking at you SRT team).

So basically this thing is all show and no go. Being as it’s a quad cab with a pathetic excuse for a bed -and built from the Explorer platform- I shouldn’t be surprised that this is basically what you would call a “lifestyle” vehicle. Which I suppose is a nice way of saying that it’s only meant to look like its sporty and utilitarian, instead of actually being sporty and utilitarian. It’s a mechanical cod piece. I also shouldn’t be surprised that the lady driving this looked like she was off to get the kids from soccer practice, driving in a part of town that is exclusively new, upper-middle class suburbs.

During a year where Ford was making the Five-Hundred, Fusion and Taurus (fleet only) all at the same time, I feel comfortable in saying that this was the most useless, outdated and foolish-looking vehicle in their line-up. I hope it’s rarity ensures that I never have to notice another one and think “Oh, what the fuck?”