Wrong Wheel Drive

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I spotted this at an emissions testing place a while back. While I like seeing mentions of Typhoons and Eclipse GSXs, I can’t help but be disappointed at the idea of a bunch of “car guys” assuming that Corvettes are AWD (I wonder how suprised they are when they pop the hood and find out someone replaced the rotary engine with a small block?) and that Dodge calls its fast cars “TR” models.

I wish I would have had a better camera at the time, but the next time I go back, I’ll try and get a shot of whatever ridiculous inaccuracies they’ve got on the board nowadays. Here’s a close up:

For The Price Of A New Camry… (A Rant)

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If you need a safe, reliable vehicle to cart your family around in, you could buy three Marauders for the price of one new Camry.

Typically, when I need to give an example of a totally average, boring car, I will mention a Toyota Camry. It is the automotive industry’s greatest most average display of mediocrity,  bland, but not extremely bland, because even that would actually be a little interesting. Vanilla on wheels. A rolling slice of cheese pizza. I could probably get even cornier with it but I’ll leave it at that for now.

And you know what? If all you are looking for is a reliable, unexceptional ride to work, a Camry is the perfect choice for you. It’s a good car. It’s the best selling car in North America right now, and for good reason. Most people just want a car to get to wherever they are going in relative safety and comfort, and little else.

Then there are the rest of us. Continue reading

Tachy

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At first, I hated it.

But after thinking about it for a while- …Ok, so I still hate it, but I have to admit- I also kind of admire it. Now, before I lose ALL of what’s left of my credibility here, let me explain:

To me, this car has a certain level of honesty to it, because I would have to imagine that nobody would ever put decals like this on their Corvette thinking people would think they look cool (except maybe a 3rd grader). This Corvette, in contrast to all the kids with their “illest” stickers and anodized tow hooks, feels like a breath of fresh air.

Sure, it’s a terrible concept, executed poorly, and although why someone would do something like this is just beyond my scope of comprehension, at least it’s something tastelessly original. I like to imagine this car tearing ass around town, piloted by some sort of irony-loathing anti-hipster, scaring the shit out of all the actual hipsters in their shapeless Audis as they nod their heads disapprovingly at at just how unbelievably unhip this guy is, knowing that he knows it, and wondering how it doesn’t bother him.

 

Car and Driver Scan – 1979 Turbo Corvette Prototype

This article was published in the September 1979 issue of Car and Driver. It’s pretty sad how little power they were able to make with a turbo small block but it’s still an interesting read, and hey, we wouldn’t be where we are today if the designers of the past hadn’t continued to trudge through the depressing mess that was the automotive industry of the 70s and early 80s. Also, check out that CompuCruise ad at the bottom of the last page. I want one! I’ve also inserted the text from this article beneath the scans in case you’d rather read it that way.

Continue reading

N2A Motors 789 Shakes Things Up

If cars were drinks, I think that a Corvette would be a glass of single malt scotch. It is a timeless classic that subscribes to the theory of “beauty in simplicity.” Although the package it comes in changes from year to year, the process remains the same: a Corvette always looks like a Corvette.

However, not everyone likes scotch. For some it is too boring, too old fashioned. For these people, trendy cocktails and mixed drinks are en vogue. What about adding a retro twist to the modern sports car? Start with a glass of C6 Corvette and add a shot of ’57 Chevy front end, a shot of ’58 Impala, and a dash of ’59 tailfins. Shake it all up and what do you get? The N2A Motors 789. Continue reading

Don’t have a carb? Don’t need a cowl hood.

Saw this guy speeding down Happy Valley Rd from 83rd Ave to 39th Ave. He must think he’s driving a Wrangler, judging by his matching full-size spare hanging off the back end. Barring the fact that it probably improves rear traction immensely with it’s Pluto-like planetoid mass and lifting the trunk lid into something like a spoiler, It looks incredibly stupid.

Though not nearly as stupid as this cowl hood:

I will never understand the aesthetics of a cowl hood. I understand if you have to have one. Like, say, you have a third-generation Corvette and you want it to not be the saddest performing vehicle on the road. If you really intend to make any horsepower naturally aspirated, running a non-low-profile intake manifold may force you to resort to using a cowl-induction hood. That doesn’t mean you need a 6″ super-duper-outlaw-pro-stock hood, though.

This is all I’m saying:

Sentra GT-R

I’m pretty thrown by this. I’ve been researching the history of the Nissan Sentra for about an hour now and I didn’t really expect to find any “GTR” trim levels. Well, there never was one, obviously. I knew that even if there was a GTR, it certainly wouldn’t have been so, well, …garishly appointed, but I thought maybe this body kit was somehow “inspired” by some sort of real model somewhere. There was a Sentra GTS that was released only in the Philippines, but from what I’ve seen of it, the package didn’t include any kind of uncomfortably vague Subaru inspired body kit/ground clearance package. Also, “R” is not the same letter as “S”.

Then there’s the fact that it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense to name your top of the line supercar after a trim level of one of your most underwhelming cars of all time. It’s bad for your image. The opposite also holds true. I mean, imagine if Chevy were to put out one of the best cars anybody had ever made, and then a couple years later pumped out an S10 with an identical, but numerically higher model designation than the Corv- …um…hypothetical car. People would think they were smoking crack and everyone would stop buying American cars and everything would turn front wheel drive and all the cars will look like soulless plastic lumps of plastic coal on plastic wheels.  Just imagine.