For Immediate Release
September 24, 2012 – In a press conference held earlier today at Kennedy Space Center, NASA officials announced the successful launch of their newest unmanned spacecraft, SpaceShip Xterra. Unlike most satellites which are sent to far off planets or celestial bodies, SpaceShip Xterra is on a terrestrial mission to monitor our own planet Earth.
Scientists reported that they had no trouble establishing a communication link with the satellite thanks to the giant fucking antenna mounted to its front bumper. The satellite is just beginning its surveying mission which is scheduled to last 3 years or 36,000 miles (whichever comes first).