The Worst of Barrett-Jackson 2013

If you haven’t read Trevor’s article entitled, “10 Things I Loved About Barrett-Jackson 2013” then you should check it out. It gives great perspective of the event seen from the eyes of a journalist. I figured that because of it, I’d like to cover the things I disliked about Barrett-Jackson 2013. Considering that nothing about the event itself was particularly unique from any other large event in it’s faults – and that we’re an automotive media website – I’d talk about the worst cars I saw there. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I’m pretty sure these cars would only appeal to the aesthetic mindset of a pre-teen.

I’m going to start off a little light. The average person may dismiss this as another disco-era (1973 to be exact, judging by the plastic front and chrome rear bumper) C3 Corvette. However, the awful “modern” deep-dish wheels, 1970’s fender flares, and “Pro-Touring” style badges and interior make this car an awful mishmash of themes on an already tired platform for modifications.

I’m pretty sure this truck was buried in a time capsule around 20 years ago and was unearthed (prematurely I might add) to sell as some kind of ironic cash-grab. I remember when a vehicle had to look like this to get a cover shot on a performance magazine. Those were grim times. It almost makes me appreciate Chip “Hollywood” Foose’s abuse of the two-tone… if only by comparison.

I wont gush on this too much because I think Mike wants to cover it in depth. Let me just ask the person behind this, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Here’s something that you would never hear about or see on the Speed coverage: At first glance this is a great example of a classic Cadillac. The interior looks pristine, and to most people looking it over, it’s beautifully restored car.

But after seeing panel gaps on the body that are this piss-poor, you have to ask yourself what other things did the builder of this car avoid doing correctly?

Combining the ugliest 2nd generation F-body with the ugliest paint theme.

The wheels are just the icing on this Barbie Easy-Bake cake.

Imagine how much money was spent on this custom interior, all in the name of bad taste. I like to imagine this car was built for someone that had more plastic in their body than this turd of a car, orange skin and white hair.

This C3 Corvette is a horrible dichotomy of bad body work and clean body lines. It makes my fucking brain ache.

The Poncho-sourced Batmobile theme continues to the back.

Naturally, the interior has to look like a BDSM sex dungeon.

Here’s the big daddy of ugly auctioned motherfuckers: OLDSKULL. Equal parts meth-addict-listening-to-too-much-Five-Finger-Death-Punch airbrushed paint scheme, Pep-boys “Gumby Gold” exterior dress-up bullshit, and a restored-classic interior color theme. I hope the new owner took the paint off with a fucking angle grinder in the parking lot of WestWorld… that’s what I’d have done.

Quite the clever play on words. Would it be fair to use the term “wordsmith” in describing such genius?

Fuck.

Also can I mention that the crowds sucked? I had to shove spectators out of my way to get to the block just for this lame ass custom Ford Futura that some old asshole glued a bunch of goofy James Bond shit to and painted black.

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