Category Archives: Curiosities

One-Eyed Willie

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I remember seeing a movie when I was younger about a group of kids who were all bummed out about having to move because their houses were being torn down to make room for a golf course or something. The kids are really sad because for some reason their parents have all decided it would be much more convenient for them and the kids to move really really far away from each other.

On one of their last days together, the kids find a map in their attic full of priceless artifacts that leads them to where a hidden treasure is supposed to have been buried and booby trapped by a particularly clever 1994 Ford Escort Wagon named “One-Eyed Willie”.

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For The Price Of A New Camry… (A Rant)

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If you need a safe, reliable vehicle to cart your family around in, you could buy three Marauders for the price of one new Camry.

Typically, when I need to give an example of a totally average, boring car, I will mention a Toyota Camry. It is the automotive industry’s greatest most average display of mediocrity,  bland, but not extremely bland, because even that would actually be a little interesting. Vanilla on wheels. A rolling slice of cheese pizza. I could probably get even cornier with it but I’ll leave it at that for now.

And you know what? If all you are looking for is a reliable, unexceptional ride to work, a Camry is the perfect choice for you. It’s a good car. It’s the best selling car in North America right now, and for good reason. Most people just want a car to get to wherever they are going in relative safety and comfort, and little else.

Then there are the rest of us. Continue reading →

Terrorize the Track and the Streets: Ford’s 1984 SVO Mustang

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 The other day I saw this going south on the I-17. Now to most people, this is just another shitbox from the 80’s. If we refine that scope a little more and target your average car enthusiast, he’ll tell you it’s a Mustang or maybe a “five point-oh” (if he wears black socks) Now let’s zoom in a little more. To your Mustang fanatic, or even 80’s car fanatic, he’ll tell you that this is the euro-stomping, SVO Ford Mustang. Continue reading →

Mr. Toyoda, Tone It Up!

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I guess now that Toyota has a sports car with a Subaru engine and a penchant for whipping around the corners doriftu-style, this post may seem irrelevant to most fan boys. Regardless of that (and the Vader-face GS Lexus) I still must say that this Corolla bearing the “Tone It Up” [link included to explain origin, Ed.] sticker seems to me to be begging it’s manufacturer to heed it’s adhesive-vinyl-based demands. Continue reading →

There Goes The Neighborhood

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I can’t even begin to guess how many cans of Wal-Mart Colorplace flat black somebody used on this thing, or how long it took to do. I can’t imagine how hot it gets inside, or how much painting it that way ruined the value of the vehicle.

I can, however; imagine the look of shock and horror on all of my neighbors faces if I pulled the thing up into the rocks on the side of my house and just parked it there.

This RV is like a giant “fuck you” that you can live inside of. I love it.

Explorer Sport Trac: Adrenaline, The First Generation

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Almost three months ago exactly, I made a post criticizing the second generation Explorer Sport Trac. More specifically the GT-R nose-jobbed “Adrenaline” edition. Because nothing releases that epinephrine in massive doses quite like overwrought factory body cladding, factory upgraded stereo systems and a black-out grille. This is Ricing 101, folks. Continue reading →