About Mike Ross

I love anything you can drive. But I love it even more if it has a small block Chevy or Ford motor, a turbo, four wheel drive, is a hatchback, or was made in the 80s. My ideal car would be a combination of all of these things, and I'm working on building a time machine so I can go back to the 80's and convince Chevy and Ford to collaborate on a twin-engine, single turbo 4x4 XR4Ti/Fox Mustang/Third Gen F-body and hide one in a mineshaft for me to recover in brand new condition. Look for a blog post about it just as soon as it happens. Or maybe it already did, and I've already posted about it in the future and the internet just needs to catch up with it. Okay, my head hurts, never mind.

Park Bench Body Kit

I keep seeing Cavaliers with these horrendous body kits. The bumpers stick out far enough that I’m afraid I’m going to trip over one in a parking lot.

Notice the separation of the bumper cover from the body. Also, don’t you wonder why a car with an inline cylinder configuration would ever, EVER need dual exhaust?

If I had a back bumper like this, I’d play games with myself to see how much stuff I could set on it. I’d win.

Flame Job

I’d support a law that required all cars (even imports) to have American Flags airbrushed all over them if it meant I’d never, ever have to see this shit again.

Realistic fire bro.
What’s next? Airbrushing dents and scratches onto the car? And is that plaid under the hood?!

Wait, What?!

I was trying to take a picture on my phone of an Accord with a single Flowmaster right under the bumper with a 4th gen z28 square tip when something white and wearing a huge wing caught my eye instead. It turned into a 711 so I followed it in there and waited for the guy to go inside. Then I snapped a couple pictures real quick.

It’s actually pretty terrifying trying to take a picture of someones car to make fun of it when you’ve seen the owner and he’s seen you. Anyways… I was really excited just to get a picture of a Focus with such a big wing. Then I realized I was in the presence of a mighty Ford Focus Cobra!

And no, it wasn’t a v8 swap Focus. And even if it were, this is still ridiculous and you know it.