Category Archives: Tasteless Cars

Ford F-350 Centaurus III

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Apparently, this truck has nothing to do with the similarly named Bronco Centurion (one of which I keep seeing but never when I have my camera). The company that does the “Centaurus” conversions is called LCM and I can’t find much information about them at all. It appears that they mostly converted Chevy and Ford vans and Explorers though, and the F-350 conversions are said to be very rare, which I believe, since I haven’t been able to find a picture of a truck on the internet yet that looks similar to this one at all.

The actual conversion itself is pretty much what you’d expect from a typical conversion van, from what I’ve read. They are supposed to be really plush and luxurious inside, but I wasn’t able to get close enough to take a look. Looking at the outside of the truck, it isn’t hard to imagine how tasteless customized these vehicles are inside.

That fact that all the accessories on the truck were designed by the same company and professionally installed does make it look much better than most of the other hyper-accessorized trucks out there (why are there so many of them anyways?) I guess you could say it’s tasteless, done tastefully.

Tachy

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At first, I hated it.

But after thinking about it for a while- …Ok, so I still hate it, but I have to admit- I also kind of admire it. Now, before I lose ALL of what’s left of my credibility here, let me explain:

To me, this car has a certain level of honesty to it, because I would have to imagine that nobody would ever put decals like this on their Corvette thinking people would think they look cool (except maybe a 3rd grader). This Corvette, in contrast to all the kids with their “illest” stickers and anodized tow hooks, feels like a breath of fresh air.

Sure, it’s a terrible concept, executed poorly, and although why someone would do something like this is just beyond my scope of comprehension, at least it’s something tastelessly original. I like to imagine this car tearing ass around town, piloted by some sort of irony-loathing anti-hipster, scaring the shit out of all the actual hipsters in their shapeless Audis as they nod their heads disapprovingly at at just how unbelievably unhip this guy is, knowing that he knows it, and wondering how it doesn’t bother him.

 

The Cadillac of Cadillacs

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Since its inception in 1902, Cadillac has been the premier manufacturer of luxury passenger vehicles in America. Well friends, today we have a special treat for you: the Cadillac of Cadillacs.

Though it may not look like much, I can tell you that this 1989 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham was once somebody’s pride and joy. In fact, they were so proud of their Cadillac that they went about making a few customizations to reflect their personality. Have a look:

Here we see where the owner added several extra “wreathed crest” logos along the front fender, which appears to have been painted with roofing tar. Continue reading →

1984 Oldsmobile Hurst/Olds Cutlass

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Aside from those BMW wheels (huh?) and the fire department wanna be pinstripes this is a pretty interesting car.

Back around the time when Oldsmobile made the ridiculous decision to make a small, front-wheel drive car and call it a Cutlass while continuing to make the same old rear-wheel drive car and also call it a Cutlass, they remembered an old gimmick they had tried before with moderate success: trying to make an automatic transmission fun to use.

Starting in 1983, you could order your Cutlass Supreme with the Hurst/Olds package, which had some pretty decent options, like a better flowing exhaust, 3.73s, and supposedly the 307 had some slight improvements.

The main feature though, were the Hurst “Lightning Rod” shifters. I’ve been watching a couple videos of them in operation and I really can’t see any benefit from using them at all, other than showing them off and pretending you’ve got a Lenco or something. They make for an interesting conversation piece though.

The Hurst/Olds was only made in this body style for two years, 83 and 84, and it’s really easy to spot the difference between the two years. 83s were black with silver rocker panels, and 84s had a reversed paint scheme. 84s also came with the 8.5″ rear end from the Grand National while the 83s got the 7.5. After 84, they started calling the car the 442 again. As far as I can tell, the Lightning Rods were only available in the 83-84 Hurst/Olds car though.

I hope that one day this car gets reunited with its stock wheels (for that matter, any old set of 15’s would be a major improvement) and cleaned up a little bit, but I’m still just happy that someone is keeping it on the road in any capacity.

Happy Birthday America!

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I may not agree with everything that goes on here all the time, but God dammit, I sure am thankful to live in a place where we have the freedom to do pretty much whatever the hell we want, including airbrushing ostentatiously patriotic tailgate murals onto our gigantic diesel trucks.

And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Happy 4th of July!