Author Archives: Mike Ross

About Mike Ross

I love anything you can drive. But I love it even more if it has a small block Chevy or Ford motor, a turbo, four wheel drive, is a hatchback, or was made in the 80s. My ideal car would be a combination of all of these things, and I'm working on building a time machine so I can go back to the 80's and convince Chevy and Ford to collaborate on a twin-engine, single turbo 4x4 XR4Ti/Fox Mustang/Third Gen F-body and hide one in a mineshaft for me to recover in brand new condition. Look for a blog post about it just as soon as it happens. Or maybe it already did, and I've already posted about it in the future and the internet just needs to catch up with it. Okay, my head hurts, never mind.

The Incident

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So, I was out on a bike ride, just trying to get some fresh air, and in the middle of some random neighborhood, I happened upon this:

If you think it looks like a Cavalier in the middle of the road, sitting on a brake rotor with nobody in the car, you’d be absolutely correct. What the picture doesn’t show is the house-length groove the car made in the asphalt before it grinded to a stop.

I didn’t see “The Incident” unfold, however. I stumbled into the situation just like this. There wasn’t a soul in sight, no wheel anywhere, nothing. Just a car in the middle of the road. Don’t you just love a good mystery?

The Rice Report – Anamorphic Accord

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Welcome back to the Rice Report: your up-to-the-minute guide to the exciting and confusing phenomenon of the ricer resurgence as of late!

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for the poor quality of the photos. I think my camera must have a special mode that I don’t know about. I was able to see this car perfectly fine in person, but for some reason whenever I tried to take a picture of it, it came out terrible and grainy. I really believe my camera was trying to protect me from ever having to see this car again. Anyways, on to the car.

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Flame War

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This is pretty outrageous. The guy’s got a matching Escalade EXT, Chevy truck bed trailer, (useless) ATV, radio controlled ATV, and model ATV. Also, notice the fact that he has a custom painted grill but also wants you to know he has a mesh grill too. I hate it. I hate it so much.

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The Trollmobile

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Everything’s cool.

It’s a beautiful day outside, the first truly “nice” day of the year. It’s the weekend and you’re out and about, just cruising with the windows down without a care in the world. It’s one of those rare days that is just so nice and sunny that you find yourself in a cheerful mood from the moment you wake up. Birds are chirping, the radio is playing all your favorite songs and you’re catching nothing but green lights. Life is good. You’re waving at strangers.

Then you notice someone zooming up behind you quickly before slowing down within inches of your back bumper. You expect them to swerve quickly around you but it doesn’t happen. They continue driving uncomfortably close to you for several miles.

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20,000 Leagues (Dodge Ram)

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I remember hearing about some guys in LA or some other city with really congested roads who put on puppet shows in the bed of their truck for people behind them to watch while everyone is stuck in traffic. This guy puts them to shame- he’s basically driving around showing everyone all the best parts from every IMAX movie for free.

I have to admit, that is some really high quality airbrush work. Bonus points because it’s not a mural of his truck on his truck (give yourself a pat on the back, dawg).

It’s still ridicufuckinglous though.

A (Mostly) Pictorial Guide To Auto Auctions

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I was really at the auction to see what my old Crown Vic, which I sold about a year and  a half ago and then learned it had been abandoned by the new owners, was going to sell for at the auction. (That whole saga is going to be chronicled in a future article.)

This was the second auction I had ever been to, and the first where I wasn’t peaking over a fence to watch it, but I would imagine that my experience there was probably pretty typical of what you should expect to see at any auto auction you go to.

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