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This is pretty outrageous. The guy’s got a matching Escalade EXT, Chevy truck bed trailer, (useless) ATV, radio controlled ATV, and model ATV. Also, notice the fact that he has a custom painted grill but also wants you to know he has a mesh grill too. I hate it. I hate it so much.
For Immediate Release
September 24, 2012 – In a press conference held earlier today at Kennedy Space Center, NASA officials announced the successful launch of their newest unmanned spacecraft, SpaceShip Xterra. Unlike most satellites which are sent to far off planets or celestial bodies, SpaceShip Xterra is on a terrestrial mission to monitor our own planet Earth.
Scientists reported that they had no trouble establishing a communication link with the satellite thanks to the giant fucking antenna mounted to its front bumper. The satellite is just beginning its surveying mission which is scheduled to last 3 years or 36,000 miles (whichever comes first).
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You’ll often find me criticizing the local populace of 4WD truck owners for doing it all wrong. What do I know about offroading with my two, lowered 2WD trucks and family sedan? I’m sure you think I don’t have the first clue about how awesome pedestrian 4×4’s can be. I mean they’re usually set up with cruising gears, automatic transmissions, limo-like wheelbase lengths, usually have a useless pick-up bed 40ft in the air, have over-sized tires that howl at moving speed and use their drop hitches (rarely) to tow a pair of jet skis, which is why they need the biggest engine possible optioned. If you and your bros have to take dad’s boat to the lake, or there’s some water or dirt on the street, you just press that little 4WD button and everything is good to go.
In a word, they’re “purposeful.” Continue reading
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I remember hearing about some guys in LA or some other city with really congested roads who put on puppet shows in the bed of their truck for people behind them to watch while everyone is stuck in traffic. This guy puts them to shame- he’s basically driving around showing everyone all the best parts from every IMAX movie for free.
I have to admit, that is some really high quality airbrush work. Bonus points because it’s not a mural of his truck on his truck (give yourself a pat on the back, dawg).
It’s still ridicufuckinglous though.
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I am pleased to announce the arrival of a new category: The Rice Report!
Surely you remember a time when it was impossible to drive anywhere without being constantly surrounded by ricers. It seemed to really peak right around 2003-ish. At the time I was driving an S10 with a loud exhaust and it seemed like somebody wanted to race me at every light. I remember receiving constant “rice-bys” on the way to school. (Who really feels like driving like that at 7AM, anyway?) I remember going to AMC 30 around that time and just marveling at how basically every spot in the gigantic parking lot was full of cars with unpainted body kits. And then, thankfully, the whole thing started fading away just as suddenly as it had appeared.
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Is this the look for mini trucks nowadays? That paint didn’t even look good on the Cobra it came from, and those wheels look dumb on anything that’s not a holiday-themed parade float. What happened to all the hardbodies with the crooked plates in the tailgate and Escalade wheels? Those required some amount of brain power and skill to cobble together, which is at least basic hotrodding. Continue reading
