Wait, What?!

I was trying to take a picture on my phone of an Accord with a single Flowmaster right under the bumper with a 4th gen z28 square tip when something white and wearing a huge wing caught my eye instead. It turned into a 711 so I followed it in there and waited for the guy to go inside. Then I snapped a couple pictures real quick.

It’s actually pretty terrifying trying to take a picture of someones car to make fun of it when you’ve seen the owner and he’s seen you. Anyways… I was really excited just to get a picture of a Focus with such a big wing. Then I realized I was in the presence of a mighty Ford Focus Cobra!

And no, it wasn’t a v8 swap Focus. And even if it were, this is still ridiculous and you know it.

Insult to Injury

“Ok… what’s the plan?”

“Don’t you remember? He said it needs to be simultaneously the ugliest and most pointless car anyone’s ever seen!”

“You mean like a Smart Car?”

“Ok, maybe not quite so ugly or pointless. Second most ugly and pointless then.”


“This is tough”

“Yeah, screw this. I can’t think of anything. Why don’t we just start working on another customer’s car and come back to this later?”

“That’s a good idea, we really need to finish up on Richard’s car, the combination second gen Camaro/dune buggy. It was supposed to be done last week.”

“Cool. I’ll try and think of something while I finish painting the drivers side rear brake drum yellow and cutting long slits into the hood.”

Sticker Shock

So, I was leaving Gamestop (which is a complete joke, by the way) and I noticed this car. At first it just looked like your average mid-life Chrysler, but then I noticed the home made sticker on the back:

“In Leykis we Trust”

And since I can’t fucking stand Tom Leykis (actually, I shouldn’t say that. Saying I can’t stand him almost makes him seem like he could be something relevant.)

Since nobody gives a fuck about Tom Leykis anymore, and hes an old heartbroken fatass, I’d probably recommend peeling off the stickers. I mean, seriously, you wonder why girls dont like you when you drive a maroon Sebring with license plate frame of tiny chrome skulls with a tribal design on the top and your hubcaps removed? Whoever you are, just know this:

I hope someone splashes piss right in your stupid fucking face.

Good Day.