Sticker Shock

So, I was leaving Gamestop (which is a complete joke, by the way) and I noticed this car. At first it just looked like your average mid-life Chrysler, but then I noticed the home made sticker on the back:

“In Leykis we Trust”

And since I can’t fucking stand Tom Leykis (actually, I shouldn’t say that. Saying I can’t stand him almost makes him seem like he could be something relevant.)

Since nobody gives a fuck about Tom Leykis anymore, and hes an old heartbroken fatass, I’d probably recommend peeling off the stickers. I mean, seriously, you wonder why girls dont like you when you drive a maroon Sebring with license plate frame of tiny chrome skulls with a tribal design on the top and your hubcaps removed? Whoever you are, just know this:

I hope someone splashes piss right in your stupid fucking face.

Good Day.


It’s got to be the most ridiculous trend yet.

“Hey man, I want, like, a picture of my truck on my truck.”

Of course, the other tasteless stuff is still there, like the clear tail lights, the running boards, the roll pan that makes no sense with the ground effects, the uneven exhaust, the torn canvas tonneau cover with something written on it for people to see with google earth, the chrome diff cover, and the lightning bolt rear window tint.What really sets it off though, is that little mural on the back. It’s not just a painting of his truck back there, it’s his truck in the middle of a fucking situation. Notice how gracefully his truck streaks through the water in reverse, away from the giant flying snow crab during the storm at the end of the world with the part of space coming down to earth. Breathtaking.Also noteworthy is the fact that on the painting of his truck, he clearly has some sort of plastic fairing behind the cab, while his real-life truck does not. Is this a tribute to a previous modification, or a sign of things to come?

Bond-Oh NO!

Using bondo is shitty. Over using bondo is really shitty. Angled mufflers are shitty. Spoilers are shitty. Primer is shitty. Rims in colors that won’t make sense when the car is painted someday are shitty.

But body kits that make your car look like a flying carpet, well, those are just totally fucking awesome.

2 Slow, 2 Shitty

I really don’t even need to say anything about this car. It’s a pretty typical ricer. I’ll break down the features that really make this car what it is:

  • Shopping cart handle
This is useful when the car breaks down and needs to be pushed by giants to the Fry’s electronics parking lot and abandoned.
  • White rims
They can make any car look like a toy! It’s so cute!

  • Clear Taillights

The only conclusion I can draw on the clear taillights thing is that they help the car look like shit, which is what the owner is going for.

  • Vinyl Graphics

The graphics are there to announce to the whole world “My Mom was careless and dropped me on my head, right onto the tile in the kitchen when I was a baby!”

  • “Sponsor” Stickers

Alerts other drivers to the presence of the nearby retard.


Hello, and welcome to Tasteless Arizona! We will be doing our best to bring you the finest examples of bad planning, piss poor judgement, limited mechanical skills, and just plain shitty taste.

Until then, hang tight…