Insult to Injury

“Ok… what’s the plan?”

“Don’t you remember? He said it needs to be simultaneously the ugliest and most pointless car anyone’s ever seen!”

“You mean like a Smart Car?”

“Ok, maybe not quite so ugly or pointless. Second most ugly and pointless then.”


“This is tough”

“Yeah, screw this. I can’t think of anything. Why don’t we just start working on another customer’s car and come back to this later?”

“That’s a good idea, we really need to finish up on Richard’s car, the combination second gen Camaro/dune buggy. It was supposed to be done last week.”

“Cool. I’ll try and think of something while I finish painting the drivers side rear brake drum yellow and cutting long slits into the hood.”


It’s got to be the most ridiculous trend yet.

“Hey man, I want, like, a picture of my truck on my truck.”

Of course, the other tasteless stuff is still there, like the clear tail lights, the running boards, the roll pan that makes no sense with the ground effects, the uneven exhaust, the torn canvas tonneau cover with something written on it for people to see with google earth, the chrome diff cover, and the lightning bolt rear window tint.What really sets it off though, is that little mural on the back. It’s not just a painting of his truck back there, it’s his truck in the middle of a fucking situation. Notice how gracefully his truck streaks through the water in reverse, away from the giant flying snow crab during the storm at the end of the world with the part of space coming down to earth. Breathtaking.Also noteworthy is the fact that on the painting of his truck, he clearly has some sort of plastic fairing behind the cab, while his real-life truck does not. Is this a tribute to a previous modification, or a sign of things to come?

Bond-Oh NO!

Using bondo is shitty. Over using bondo is really shitty. Angled mufflers are shitty. Spoilers are shitty. Primer is shitty. Rims in colors that won’t make sense when the car is painted someday are shitty.

But body kits that make your car look like a flying carpet, well, those are just totally fucking awesome.